The wrong perception of marriage (from my point of view).

After getting married for nearly a year (I know, it seems like just yesterday! ), the next dreading question will be..."When are you having kids?". I usually wave away the question with a simple answer, "later, not now". And I got a very wrong feedback from those who asked, "So why did you get married if you don't want to have kids now?"

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Get your facts straight please. Marriage and kids are totally 2 different agenda. Because people always rush into parenthood right after marriage, that's why we have so many divorces! They don't even have time to enjoy their moment as husband and wife and get to know each other (unless you guys have been together for a decade, I guess you know each others inside out pretty clearly). If not, what's the hurry?

Marriage is just like any other phases in a relationship. First, you fall in love and you enjoy the courtship phase. Then you commit to each other and enjoy the relationship phase. If things work out, you devote your love to each other forever and enjoy marriage phase. After that when you are ready, you start a family with the love of your life and enjoy parenthood phase! Life is all about slowing down, smell the roses along the way and enjoy every moment. You don't go rush into things like your eggs are expiring soon. Quickly fall in love, get married after a few months together and make babies the next day. Few years down the road you're going to have a house full with kids running around (or maybe you don't even have a house of your own because you were in a rush to reproduce) and you're going to look at the man snoring next to you wondering, "What the hell just happened to your life?"

So hold your horses and stop asking me the same question. I got married not because I'm in a hurry to make babies. Marriage is a life long devotion to your partner in which you said "I do" solely because you just want to spend your life with the love of your life. Not because you think it's time to reproduce therefore you put that ring on her/his finger. If your partner said so, that just proves how desperate he/she to have babies more than having you. Can you imagine your other half propose to you because he wants to knock you up to extend his family tree? I will knock his head out and give 2 chicken eggs for him to fertilize instead! So does he really loves you or your ovaries? Something you should ponder upon.

I am now enjoying life with my husband, just the 2 of us (note: at the mean time). I fully intend to fulfill all my wishes before I hit 30, going to all the places I want to go and owning a house of my own (note: together with my husband, that's the reason we got married, doing things together as a married couple). Don't tell me I can fulfill my wishes after I give birth! By then I either need all the money to pay for the never ending school fees or I don't have the energy anymore because I'll be old and out of youthful energy to run around and camwhore!

Soon after 30 when I already have everything achieved, I will settle down and have little pitter patter in my house, which I take time before getting pregnant to nestle and prepare as a warm and loving home for my child.

That's my plan. Harap maklum, sekian terima kasih.