2014, of lost and sorrow.

2014 has not been a great year, there were a lot of ups and downs. I would say it's a year of learning to accept, to let go and most of all, to appreciate.

During the early stage of the year, I was diagnosed with a growth in my stomach. It was the lowest point of my life and it was the time I learned when you are pushed to desperation, you will try absolutely everything. It was the time I started praying for a hope, for an answer, for an assurance. I'm thankful that my prayers were answered and it was all under control now. It was then I truly understand the importance of health. You can buy a brand new car if it's spoiled. You can find another lover if you get dumped. But you can never ever find back your health if it's jeopardized. Please go for an annual check up, your body is your temple, treat it with respect and protect it like a gem. It comes far and beyond above everything and anything, because you only have 1 life.

Then it was the death of the woman who raised me besides my mom, my grandmother. I have so much regret for not spending enough time and not doing enough for her. When she was alive I filled myself with excuses of another time another day. But how long does the elderly has? You will never know. I learned that their time in this world is not guaranteed, spend more time with them even it's just a little while. The biggest weakness of mankind is not saying "I Love You" enough when they are still alive.

Health, family and then it was work. I had a wonderful career working with wonderful people in a wonderful company. Then slowly one by one, the people that I was closed with in the company left. Everything changed. I was naive enough to think that I could stay for a long time there. But people change, things change, left alone a management in a multi-national company. Good people go, bad people stays. It was the time I learned about trust, betrayal and the ugly side of the human heart. I was raised in a small town in Ipoh, I was told to live a simple life. The husband told me to build a wall to safe-guard myself. If people are to be cunning towards me, treat them the same way. But I refused. If I were to do that, what would be the difference between me and those bad people? I would rather stay true to myself than changing my principal. The world is chaotic enough with complicated and selfish people, I want to be the color in this grayish world. Even if it means being good to people and let them have their back turned towards me when things changed. These betrayal and all the politics I learned has thought me a great lesson: They are everything that I don't want to be.

There are ups for all the downs that happened, it all boils down to how you perceive it. Just like the way you see roses have thorns, or you can choose to see thorns have roses instead. Despite all the happenings, I'm thankful that my husband stay strong with me through it all. No matter it's climbing the highest mountain or crossing the deepest ocean, I know I can do it because my husband will always be there for me. This time, I learned that I actually possessed something that made me the richest woman in the world: True love.

I have changed so much this year, I find myself seeing things and reacting towards different scenarios in a whole different way.

Every year I will dedicate a song to sum up the year, and it has always been some happy tunes. But this year, I would like to dedicate a slower song to all the lives we lost this year. May they find a better place in another world. God loves you too much He decided to take you back to Him earlier. Do not think the lives we lost have ended, their lives on earth was just a beginning. I believe in after life. We lost lives, but heaven gain a lot of angels. For the living ones, it's time for us to move on. For the brand new year 2015, I will live life towards a better approach. To stay positive in all conditions. Nothing is impossible, it depends on the determination of our mind and the willingness of our heart.

You don't have to try so hard, be yourself, love yourself. Happy New Year, may all of you be blessed with the things that money can't buy: good health and happiness.

A dedication to all the amazing L'Orealians.

People always warn us not to post anything about our job in social media. Not only it will affect your image in your working life, it might also put you at risk of getting fired. But I shall put an exception for this post, because I don't treat my life in L'Oreal as a job....but a passion.

I started using make up when I was in early high school. I remember sneakily trying my mother's make up when she was not around and it was a L'Oreal mascara. And so it played an important role in my life. It was my utter dream came true when I nailed the job as a Graphic Designer in L'Oreal Malaysia. Doing what I'm passionate about with the brand that I love.

I had never put so much effort preparing for a job interview and had never prayed so hard for a job. Because it was something that I really wanted and I'm someone who will stick to it if I know what I truly want. When the HR department finally called me, I couldn't stop smiling even the phone call has ended. Ever since then, I went to work everyday with positive vibes. I felt joyful when it was Friday and hopeful when it was Sunday. Yes, I actually look forward to go to work, totally no Monday Blue. I loved my life in L'Oreal so much it became part of me.

But with deep sadness, my life in L'Oreal came to an end after 2.5 years. I once thought that I can stay for a very long time, but nothing last forever.

I met so many amazing people here in L'Oreal, some inspired me, some toughen me and some annoyed me. It is not the achievement or knowledge I gained that matters most, I believe we all can achieve something from anywhere. But it is the friendship I got in L'Oreal that will last forever.

Some people told me not to invest so much emotion in a job, because a job is just a job. But how can we excel if we don't put our passion in it? Passion is emotion, right? I remember when I went for the interview, the former General Manager asked me where do I see myself in the next 5 years. I told her with confident that I wished I will be able to help L'Oreal build an in-house design team and I shall lead it to produce amazing design for L'Oreal Malaysia. And so I managed to do it, in less than 2 years. Because I put a great amount of passion in what I do and for that....the disappointment was even greater.

But I have no regrets, because I left L'Oreal knowing I found myself a handful of true friends. Yes, we are no longer colleagues, but friends....Because You're Worth It.

Here is a heartfelt gratitude from the bottom of my heart  to the amazing people who I met in L'Oreal (in no particular order). Some are no longer in L'Oreal, some are still there...no matter what, you guys have left a deep imprint in my heart.

Jannifer, it's always fun to selfie and gossip with her.

Afeeza once told me when I was crying, "I would rather lose her than losing you" and I cried even louder.

Steph, you will always be my Energizer Bunny and I'll always be your Ding Dang.

Chan Jun Yee, the woman that will be there for me no matter rain or shine.
Viva MGS & Ipoh leng lui! BFF!

Jen Eu, my mentor and the best boss ever. People say we look alike, and I'm happy for
being associated with a capable and inspiring woman.

Chellene, who poked her head into the room and smiled when I was waiting for my interview, has became
my caretaker in L'Oreal ever since. Thank you for everything.

Tham Meng Fatt, the only person that I enjoy fighting with.

Sook Ping, the girl with the most beautiful sunshine smile. You inspired me so much!

Ashley, the sweetest person I have ever met. I will always love you, never let go!

Kimberly, the most beautiful aunty ever. I want to be just like you!
It was nice being your neighbor for 2 years, thank you for everything!

Celine, thank you for enduring my late mailer submissions LOL.

Phooi Kuan, the only person to sampat with me after Jun Yee left.

Sammi, the tai ka jie. Don't mess with her, even I have to tabik her.

Roslind, the mama of CPD. Pray harder! (you know what I mean) Hehe!

Carol, the tea lady. Friendly and humble =)

Eddie, always chasing me....for mailers =_=

Take care, Garnier. The most green and  friendly team and the best team to wefie!

L'Oreal Paris team, because you're SO worth it!

Maybelline team. Maybe it's Maybelline, but you girls are definitely born with it!

And also to the many more people who I didn't manage to take photos with, you know who you are ;)

And here is a message to my remaining team mates.

The road ahead might be tough (if you know what I mean), but keep your head up high like this picture and you will see the future ahead is bright like the smile on our faces. We are stones and they are sandpaper, the longer they roughen us, the more polished we will be. One day, we will shine bright like diamonds and they will just be....sandpaper.

Love always,
Claire

In loving memory.

On the 3rd of May 2014, my grandma passed away after suffered 2 strokes within a week. That was the time when I realized that human's biggest weakness is not telling the people you love that you love them when they were still around.

This post is a dedication to a woman that I called dearly as my grandma.

My grandma was the most noble person I ever known in my life. All her life, she gave without asking for return. When I was little, she would make me breakfast before I went off for school. When I came home from school, she would make me lunch. She would spend her days in the kitchen preparing meals for us and never have I hear her complain, not even once.

My grandma was not a person with many words. Often she would sit quietly at her chair and listen attentively when people spoke. Years passed and my grandma got older and weaker. After breaking her hip bone and suffered a stroke, she succumbed to wheelchair.

The day that I finally realized my grandma had gotten old was the day I looked into her eyes after my wedding when she told me to come home when I have time. As I said, my grandma was not someone who speak out her mind, hearing her saying that broke my heart to pieces. Since then, I would go home often to visit. There was once in the morning she waited for me in her wheelchair thinking I would bring her out for breakfast, but I had no idea and was still sleeping in my room. I felt so bad afterwards I still feel it until today. It was then whenever I went home, I would take her out for breakfast or dinner.

Spend more time with the elders, they don't always have tomorrow. Getting up in the morning and still being alive each day is a blessing for them. I will always remember the last time I took my grandma out for dinner, because we had a good time and I didn't know it would be the last time I ever eat with her. Life is so unexpected, make each day count.

Even though she was often alone at home, with my mom out working and both of me and my sister at different states, she never complain and would spent her days looking out at the door. Sometimes I wonder if she was reminiscing her old days or thinking about something else. I regretted not spending more time talking to her. I have so much regrets I wish I could say I'm sorry but she was no longer here to listen.

My grandma was not only noble, she was a strong woman who raised 4 children all by herself after the death of my grandfather at a very young age. All my life, I have never seen her complain and I have never seen her cry.The only time I saw tears from her eyes was the day she died. She had a droplet of tear at the corner of her eyes when I reached the hospital. She had been struggling for her life for nearly a month after suffered 2 strokes within a week. She finally let go after my sister and I rushed home to see her.

I had been preparing myself to let go, because this is life. We get old and we die. Little did I know that it would be so painful to lose someone that is so dear to you.

Po, if you're in heaven, I hope you have a better life up there. Although we have lost you, but we are glad that heaven gained a wonderful angel. You will always and forever live in our hearts. I hope that you know that we love you dearly. See you when we get there.

2014 Birthday Wishlist.

It's that time of the year again!!!!! My birthday WOOT WOOT!!!!! So if you're thinking to get me a birthday present, fret not! I love you so much I've came out with a birthday wishlist to ease your headache. All segregate to different categories:

1. Kiam siap
2. Oklah
3. Splurge

So let's see what category you fall into.

KIAM SIAP

If you are so broke from all the sales and Christmas shopping but yet you are so sincere to get me a birthday present, then you fall into this kiam siap category.

I seriously can't think of anything I want that is less than RM50 =_= Maybe you can buy me an online deal for hair treatment? My dying dry hair will thank you for it. Just make sure the salon is in Damansara or Kepong area. Don't buy me some faraway place or I will shove the coupon into your throat.

Oh! Maybe this?

THE BODY SHOP CHOCOMANIA SHOWER CREAM

I love this shower cream because it smells so sweet until I need to resist the urge to lick myself. Or you can get any shower cream from The Body Shop, I love all their fruity scented shower cream.

OKLAH

I think many of you fall into this category. Doesn't burn a hole in your wallet and doesn't make you look like a cheapo!

NAILS SUPREME FROM HAMLEYS

Super love this nailart set! It comes with brush and pen! You can get this from Hamleys toy shop in 1 Utama and I promise if you buy for me I will do lots of nailarts for you! I will even squat down on the floor and do your toes!

CHANEL NAIL POLISH

DIOR NAIL POLISH (I love the brush!)

I want the baby pastel colors pretty pleaseeeeeeeeee.
Chanel nail polish is reserved by someone already =D

PANASONIC NAIL CARE SET

PANASONIC HEATED EYELASH CURLER

SPLURGE

Don't think anyone will bother looking at this section. But just in case you win lottery or a bag of money fell from the sky for you, who knows.

Sony Xperia Z1

My Samsung Note is dying and it takes crappy pictures. After contemplating between iPhone 5s, HTC One and Sony Xperia Z1 for months, I've decided on Sony. iPhone is nice no doubt, but the functions just don't appeal to me. HTC One has jaw dropping functions but the camera quality is a huge let down. Sony Xperia takes great pictures with amazing functions. Let's just see if it can beat my Samsung Note lifespan. Oh! I want white color please.

Casio Exilim Camera

A dream comes true for camwhore queen. Although it comes with just 12 megapixel, but this camera can be flipped and turned 180 degree for selfie with a stand. No more screwing mini tripod or balancing the camera on book or cups LOL! I know you've done that before!

Prada Saffiano

Louis Vuitton Neverfull Epi Leather

OK!!!! Let's stop here before I go full mode on cars and bungalows.

Babies? *shivers*

I've been married for a year and the next question will be, "When are you having kids?". Hmm...when I'm ready?

And the ultimate question is...when will I ever be ready? I've promised the husband we'll try when I hit 30. But truthfully, will I be ready when I hit 30? What if I'm not?

My sister told me no books or preparation will ever make me prepared for motherhood, it just happen. I'm not convinced. Many of my friends already have kids or gotten pregnant. Comparing to marriage, I seriously don't feel pushed to have kids even my Facebook has become a wall of baby photos.

Probably from all the horror stories I heard from mothers around, it just creeps me out with all the gory details. The pain, the changes and let's not start about the sleepless nights. Sleep is like oxygen to me, interrupted sleeps will turn me into a Godzilla. With my cranky mood, I may blow up at the husband and it will strain our relationship. What if it got so bad we have to divorce? *pulls hair* Don't try to shake off this fact because it's indeed the truth. Do you have any idea what is the rate of divorce after having kids?

Let me list down the cons:
No more sleeping in during the weekend.
No more lounging around with the husband.
No more hanging out with friends.
No more holiday trips.
No more time.
No more freedom.

Geez...sounds like the end of life.

Yayaya, I'm sure you're going to say that the joy children bring is worth all the sacrifices. It's a whole different story when your kids roll on the floor in public kicking their legs in the air in the shopping mall just because you refuse to buy them toys *shivers*

I've seen parents with their babies crying the lungs out in shopping mall. No matter what the parents do, the baby just cry and cry and cry until everyone in the mall were looking at them. I'm not sure if I should feel pity or embarrassed for the parents. And some kids threw tantrum at the parents calling them stupid in public. All worth the sacrifices you make? I know it's the matter of teaching and guidance. But looking at the rate of my motherhood skill, I HIGHLY doubt myself.

Getting up early for work everyday after sleepless nights to wailing babies *shivers* I think I will end up with depression. Quit working? I will end up with depression too because I'm trapped inside the house with the baby all day and night looking all haywire. Messy hair, lifeless skin, baggy t-shirt and pants because you don't bother to look nice and dress up at home *shivers*

Dear Fairy Godmother,
Can I have a baby who doesn't know how to cry and just smile and giggle all the time? (Fat chance)

But having no kids, I might end up in the old folks home, lonely and sad. Dim suen?!

Let's sum up my year of 2013!

2013 is coming to an end. Another year is gone. I realized that as we grow older, time seriously slip by like a bolt. It makes me cherish each and every moment even more. Most of all, my denial in getting old. Can we slow that down just a bit?

Well, like what I did last year. Let's summarize my achievement for this year. It's good to do a sum up of the year, so you can see where you're at and set new goals for the new year! Let's begin!

• I traveled to 6 countries in Europe!

NETHERLANDS

GERMANY

SWITZERLAND

PARIS

LONDON

VENICE

• I traveled to other countries without the husband, twice!

SINGAPORE

BANGKOK

•  I finally moved my lazy ass and started yoga!

•  Bought myself a foldable bicycle and started cycling!

•  Got a pay raise!

•  Started reading again and I knocked out more than 20 books in about 6 months!

And the biggest achievement of the year 2013....

• A house of my own.

It has been a ridiculously long time since my last update about the house, I'll talk about it in some other post in the future. I find it ridiculous too. But for now let's just be merry and jolly.

CHRISTMAS! I've always love Christmas, who doesn't? With all the lights, heart warming songs and presents! It makes us feel warm and close to each other. What's missing is obviously...snow!

And Christmas will be so blah without these people!

Presents exchange and look what I got! Cute!

Presents from my colleagues with personal messages, so sweet =)

Nothing beats this gift from my Manager. Some encouragement gives me the oomph to brace the new year =)

Christmas present and advance Birthday present from my childhood BFF!

I don't get to see her often since she's in Singapore. Thanks for the advance gift =)

I had Christmas present hunting with my friends on Christmas day itself. It was so fun! We wrote down whatever we want (of course within a budget) in a piece of paper and we randomly pick without knowing what we have to buy and for whom. Our timing was 30-60 minutes to run around the shopping mall to hunt for that present. I walked so fast I was perspiring in the shopping mall!

I was expecting everyone to write some silly stuff to trick the pickers so I wrote something stupid! But everyone was so normal! GAH!!!!!!

The husband and I got it real bad =____= But at least we had a good laugh!

I love Christmas so much I decked my work desk in the office for the occasion! 

Love all the photos on the dashboard. Reminds me of how happy I am of where I am now =) The McD Hello Kitty and the carousel are gifts from the husband. The paper Santa and the button badge are from Dominic, I wonder if that's what he thinks of me =_= Oh, I bought the Santa shoe and tiny Christmas tree myself. It's important to decorate your work desk a bit so it feels more personal and yourself, that is very important so you can comfortably!

I even painted my nails looking all Christmasy!

It's so fun to paint your nails for special occasion. You can do any elements you like according to the theme. Here are some tutorial videos which I find super cute!

Before signing off 2013, I will like to conclude that this year hasn't been as great as last year, it was good, just not as great. 2012 was an exciting year. 2013 is a year of learning and growing. I learned a lot this year (I think), from the way I should deal with people in general (work related or personal). To have a happy life is to ditch all the negative people around you. Sometimes there are no hard feelings, we just change and move on. Spread the good energy for a happier YOU!

Though it wasn't an awesome year comparing to 2012 which might be the best year of my life (so far). But I'm thankful for whatever that came my way. And guess what! 2014 will be a great year with a lot of new exciting things installed! Can't wait to tell you guys!

2014!

Here's my dedication to all of you to bid 2013 goodbye and say a big fat HEEEEEEEEELLLOOOOOOOOO to 2014! Get your ass up! Kick off your shoes! Shake your booties and dance!!!!!