And the ultimate question is...when will I ever be ready? I've promised the husband we'll try when I hit 30. But truthfully, will I be ready when I hit 30? What if I'm not?
My sister told me no books or preparation will ever make me prepared for motherhood, it just happen. I'm not convinced. Many of my friends already have kids or gotten pregnant. Comparing to marriage, I seriously don't feel pushed to have kids even my Facebook has become a wall of baby photos.
Probably from all the horror stories I heard from mothers around, it just creeps me out with all the gory details. The pain, the changes and let's not start about the sleepless nights. Sleep is like oxygen to me, interrupted sleeps will turn me into a Godzilla. With my cranky mood, I may blow up at the husband and it will strain our relationship. What if it got so bad we have to divorce? *pulls hair* Don't try to shake off this fact because it's indeed the truth. Do you have any idea what is the rate of divorce after having kids?
Let me list down the cons:
No more sleeping in during the weekend.
No more lounging around with the husband.
No more hanging out with friends.
No more holiday trips.
No more time.
No more freedom.
Geez...sounds like the end of life.
Yayaya, I'm sure you're going to say that the joy children bring is worth all the sacrifices. It's a whole different story when your kids roll on the floor in public kicking their legs in the air in the shopping mall just because you refuse to buy them toys *shivers*
I've seen parents with their babies crying the lungs out in shopping mall. No matter what the parents do, the baby just cry and cry and cry until everyone in the mall were looking at them. I'm not sure if I should feel pity or embarrassed for the parents. And some kids threw tantrum at the parents calling them stupid in public. All worth the sacrifices you make? I know it's the matter of teaching and guidance. But looking at the rate of my motherhood skill, I HIGHLY doubt myself.
Getting up early for work everyday after sleepless nights to wailing babies *shivers* I think I will end up with depression. Quit working? I will end up with depression too because I'm trapped inside the house with the baby all day and night looking all haywire. Messy hair, lifeless skin, baggy t-shirt and pants because you don't bother to look nice and dress up at home *shivers*
Dear Fairy Godmother,
Can I have a baby who doesn't know how to cry and just smile and giggle all the time? (Fat chance)
But having no kids, I might end up in the old folks home, lonely and sad. Dim suen?!
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