The Deception of a Woman in a Mask.

I'm a true and transparent person that doesn't like to hide my feelings. I chose to be expressive and be what I like to be. When I'm happy, I'm chirpy. When I've something in my head, I voice it out. When I'm bothered, I'll keep quiet but still will let it out in the end.

Sometimes people find me being too overwhelmed. But life is short, why camouflage your true feelings when you have a choice to be yourself. I rather die knowing I've lived my life expressing myself than dying with all my feelings plundered in my restless soul.

Holding on to the belief of being true to myself, hence I can't bare being around with sarcastic and contradicting people. People like these are so fake, they tell you one story here but once you look away they will tell you another different version. But unfortunately, there is exactly one person who fits this character perfectly revolves around my daily life.

Wearing a mask is the last thing I will do. If I like you, I'll make sure you know it. If you are not in my favorite list, I won't talk to you and won't even look you in the eyes. Having this pebble in my shoe has caused me to broke my belief. I forced myself to wear a mask to face this person every single miserable day. It feels so suffocating, dishonest and it has somehow changed how I live (in a bad way).

This person might think he/she is wise and capable for achieving what he/she has nowadays, but he/she doesn't even earn an ounce of my respect. Reputation is just merely what you think you are, but character is what defines you.

If only the world allows me to tell the truth which I always do, I only have 3 words for this particular person...
I DESPISE YOU.

Searching for a life worth living for.

Here I am staring blankly at this blank space, trying to find a word or two to describe how I feel. For the first few minutes, I really couldn't think of anything. Even when I started typing, I couldn't find the right words and kept pressing on the backspace tab. What has gotten into me?

Perhaps the lifeless and stressful environment had got the best of me. I no longer feel the passion, hope and the "what-a-wonderful-world" feeling every time I wake up in the morning. I feel dreadful, in denial and forced.

People says we work for money in regardless of whether we are happy or not. Money drives everything, even we don't like it.

Seriously, is that a way to live? We can never get back the things that we lost in time, not even with the money that you so called struggled to earn.

It is a life well lived with passion and happiness that is worth fighting for, not a life that is valued by money.

It has been a few months since I started to struggle with that thought. But I've already reached a point of no return. I am at a junction where decision is already made. I will head to the other direction. I am moving on.