That time of the month.

I had horrible gastric since last Friday until Monday. All thanks to my colleagues. Lunch time is usually a pain in the ass for me, I literally have to beg them for lunch. Some will chill outside the office and some will stay at their desk doing their work even it's already 15 minutes passed lunch hour. They are either procrastinators or just pretending to be hardworking.

So last Friday I skipped my breakfast and waited for half an hour for them with my grumbling stomach. Plus the traffic jam and non existing parking, my grumbling stomach became numb and came tremendous pain of gastric. It was so bad, I think my stomach has inflammation because no matter I eat or not, it hurts. It lasted until Monday and I finally went to see the doctor. "Why wait til Monday?" my friends asked. Simple, I want MC! ^^

After the gastric subsided, came that time of the month! HOLY MACARONI! Gastric + period cramp, awesome! Been lying on the bed for 1.5 days like a corpse, feeling shitty and cranky. Wait, corpse doesn't have feeling =_=

Finally back to work today, with equal shitty feeling.

The best remedy to cure my mundane-ness, camwhore.

The Love Story.

Since my blog now has partially became a wedding blog, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm getting married. So let me tell you how our love story started more than 3 years ago.

Once upon a time, there was a princess (me) who got cursed by an evil ugly witch, trapped in a dungeon for a long long time. On one fine day, a prince (Alvin) came to my rescue in his shining armor and gave me a kiss of love, which broke the spell. We then live happily ever after. The end.

....

Just kidding. Such cliche fairy tale only happens in the book, or probably some childish dramas. Actually I've already had the story typed out until the confession part but I found the story was over narrative and long winded. So I will cut the long story short (Just in case you fall asleep halfway reading, you can play the videos below while reading. It makes the whole love story more alive =)

If you want a romantic and emotional feeling while reading, play this song:




But if you prefer a slightly more cheerful happy feeling, play this instead:



Our love story is not a dramatic one. No forbidden meeting, no rejection from the family or whatsoever. We just met through a mutual friend. 4 years ago I got my heart broken very badly by someone that I shall not name (my ex lar). After that there were quite a few guys who came chasing me, including Alvin. All the guys were very aggressive and pushy, all asking me desperately to accept them, all except Alvin. Judging from my condition at that moment, still bleeding from the previous failed relationship, he took a step back, be patient and gave me space to breathe instead. I guess it was that sense of respect and patience that caught my attention. There are things in life that you can't push for it. Good things come to those who wait.

We went Bali together with the rest of our friends and it was then that I found out I enjoyed spending time with him, in regardless it was with friends or personally just with him. But who won't fall in love at such beautiful place! It's Bali! So to keep my heart safeguard, I told him things will go back to normal once we went back to Malaysia. After some time thinking, I realized that with all the respect and patience that he has given me, he deserves a chance from me. And so we became a couple.

Bali, the place I fell for him 4 years ago *shy*

Like any other couple, we fight a lot during the early stage of the relationship. But it was the arguments that made us understand each other more. Yes, it might be very irritating and nerve wrecking, but trust me. Couples NEED to fight, but take it as a progress to a more understanding relationship. It is through all these rough patches that we learn to understand and accept the other person for who they are.

I DO NOT believe in people saying "We don't fight, once we fight, means we are over." There is seriously no such thing, it's either your partner is too patient with you (don't be proud, its not healthy) or both of you don't give a shit about each other.

He doesn't buy me expensive stuff, except for the occasional birthday or anniversary presents. I don't get branded bags, sparkly jewelries or flashy cars from him like other girls get from their boyfriends. Everyone has the perception that he gives me all the expensive stuff that I have. But no, he doesn't. I'm not a material girlfriend, whatever branded stuff that I have, it's from my own money. I don't mind having meals with him at hawker stalls, I don't mind staying at home with him on Saturday night watching TV and I certainly don't mind him cooking for me and chill at home on special days like Valentine or Christmas.

He might not give me the material things that I want, but he certainly can give me everything that money can't buy. It's not all the about material stuff, it's too staged for people's eyes. It's all the small little things that he does for me (sometimes even without him knowing it) that matters most. For instance, he drives my car to pump for petrol when he saw my car is running out of fuel. He cuts the chicken for me when he sees me cutting it clumsily. If I order half boiled eggs and when it comes, he automatically reaches out and break them for me.  It may sound like he is babysitting me, but which woman doesn't want a husband who can do everything for them! And most of all, he doesn't mind watching Desperate Housewives, Glee and America's Next Top Model with me. Furthermore he will imitate how Tyra Banks walk and shake her boobs and head when the opening song is played. How not to marry a man who does that.

I was once a selfish, impatient and bad tempered person. But he changed me without me knowing it. It's true, I've became someone better. Now I start to understand the situation before I get angry, accept him for who he is and be patient with his weaknesses. Don't ask me how or when he changed me, he just did, subconsciously. I guess when 2 person are meant to be, they compliment each other. It's like 2 pieces of jigsaw puzzle, he completes me the part that I'm lacking, and I complete him the part he is lacking.

Us, today. Soon to be husband and wife.

 *both of the songs above will be used for my wedding =)

The Barbie Princess Gown.

Finally the people from My Dream Wedding sent me the correct photo of my photoshoot evening gown. Like I mentioned in my previous post, the Barbie princess gown! LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEE~

What's missing is a tiara.

I have tons to do during all the weekends on this month. I'm going for firming facials (wtf), hair colouring and manicure/pedicure. All for the sake of my ROM and wedding photoshoot. Getting married is so memafankan, especially for the woman.

But I enjoy it nonetheless =P Different case for my wallet =__=

The White Dress.

There is always a secret in every girl that her dream is to see herself in a wedding dress. It's like the happiness of her life is sewn out in a dress, each and every details on the dress represent the hopes and dreams she has. I guess it's all the Disney cartoons we used to watch as a child, that we wish to wear that beautiful dress and transform into a princess, being whisked away by her prince charming.

I had a second trip to My Dream Wedding yesterday for gown fitting. We sat down to talk to the consultants first regarding the venue of our photoshoot, the concept and the look and feel that we are looking for in our photoshooting. After some brief discussion, the consultant decided to pick some airy gowns for me since the places that I chose are mainly nature oriented.

At first I thought I got to browse and pick for the dresses from the rack myself. But to save time and avoid the indecisive of woman, the consultant chose about 8 gowns for me to test and took photo for each and every gowns I tested. After that they loaded the photos in the computer and let me chose from there instead of hoarding their space with the gowns. I guess I watched too much movies, they are so misleading!

But nonetheless I enjoyed the process =) Though I prefer to try on all the gowns in the shop XD

Below are the dresses that I chose for my pre wedding photoshoot!

I love this lace chiffon mermaid wedding dress.
Sophisticated and elegant.

The back gave me that perfect silhouette.

I would prefer a black sash on this dress,
like Vera Wang. Now it looks a bit blank.

Long train! Me like!

I LOVE THE BACK OF THIS DRESS!!!!!!

I was struggling between this ribbon dress with the long train dress. I like the back of the ribbon dress so much, but I want a dress with long train. Sharon said since I've chosen the mermaid dress, I should have a long train dress for variety. I agreed. Wish I can transfer that ribbon on to the long train dress!!!!

As for the evening gown, I chose a can can dress. SHO CUTE! I looked like a Barbie princess (except the blonde hair). But the consultant didn't save that photo into my thumbdrive, CISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Something like this without the shoulder drape.

The consultant saved this photo instead.
Which is the wrong dress.

According to Sharon, this dress looked like bridesmaid.

Sharon said this kinda simple long dress can be worn any time during dinner or functions. Wedding is a once in a lifetime event, we should go all out and choose some OTT gowns! Thank God I have a girl friend to give me some valuable advise. Alvin just said "Up to you, up to you" whenever I asked for his opinion =____= She also asked if I was the one who chose the evening gowns, because all the gowns are in pink! LMAO!

After deciding on all the stuff, the consultant gave us a list of "Do's and Don'ts" The highlighted one is hilarious. 

Touch up artists' nightmare. THE HAIR!!!!!!

Sharon and I camwhoring with the giant mirror!

Busy woman took some time off her schedule
to kepoh at my gown fitting.

The mirror in the lift made us look so slim!
How can I not take a picture!
#Note Alvin holding the lift door
opened while we camwhored, LOL!

They will be altering the gowns according to my size so I will be going back again for another final fitting on a day before the photoshoot day. Can't wait to test the Swavroski crystal gowns for my actual wedding day! Guess that one will need to wait until August or September =(

Alvin asked why they took my photos during my gown fitting and nobody bother to take his when he tested his tuxedo, poor thing. 

Nah! The one and only photo of the groom in his tux!

Bits and pieces for the big day.

After weeks or perhaps a month of working late everyday, I finally have a day which I can call it "idle"! So I shall update you guys a bit about my wedding preparation. I've so many things done already, in regardless of big or small.

PRE WEDDING PHOTOSHOOT

I'll be going for my photoshoot gown fitting this Sunday, so anxious and anticipated! Can't wait to snap a few pics and show you all. Besides wearing gowns for the shooting, the studio also allowed us to wear our casual outfit for a batch of fun photos. Hence using my creative skill, I decided to design our own T-shirt to wear for the casual shooting.

Can't wait to get it printed!

ROM

Let's talk about my ROM. Which is coming real soon, end of this month, 27th May. Alvin has postponed the time to 11.30am instead of 9.30am. Thank God! I have more time to prep up and ease my water retention wtf.

I couldn't find a dress which is similar to the Audrey Hepburn inspired photo which I posted earlier here. Therefore I opted for another dress, which is sponsored by my sister *love* I fell in love with the dress once I tried it on. Alvin's first reaction when he saw me came out from the fitting room was a curve at the corner of his lips. At that moment, I knew I must have it for my ROM!

Sneak peek first =)

 
Thanks to Hooi Hooi for introducing so many wedding inspiration website to me. I got so many ideas from Green Wedding Shoes and Martha Stewart! To make things slightly different from other people's ROM, I chose to make my own flowers. Hand bouquet is out, giant flower is in!

Gorgeous! Special and one of the kind!

So Alvin and I scouted for the materials everywhere in KL, all the art shops that we can find. But searching for crepe paper is like searching for dinosaur eggs! We found one in Mid Valley but they only have leftovers =__= and the people said nobody is looking for these kinda material anymore, hence they won't stock in. We gave up. But one trip back to my hometown, I found the paper while shopping with my mom at the new shopping mall in Ipoh! HAAAAAAAAALELUJAH!!!!

Pretty!!! I love it!!!

The outcome was a bit huge. Probably because I'm petite comparing to the model in the picture which is tall. The flower looked like it can eat me up anytime. According to Manda, it looked like Rafflesia wtf =___= Making it smaller will be perfect. Fine, I will make it smaller! I hope people won't be staring at me with awkwardness. People carry small hand bouquet, I carry giant crepe paper flowers! But it's my big day! I want it to be special and ME ME ME ME ME! *unleash the diva!* Creative people is so troublesome, they always want things to be different and special. Especially a creative diva cum bridezilla.

This is hilarious!

WRIST CORSAGE

Another special thing is I handmade the wrist corsage myself for the girls during my wedding. To add some personal touch to thank the girls, I will be putting their names on it too. Instead of fresh flower wrist corsage that will wither and die, I hope they will keep this handmade wrist corsage made by me =)

All the materials I bought for DIY.

Pom pom flowers =)

Alvin making the flowers while watching CSI.

WEDDING CARD

I also designed my own wedding card. Being a designer has its pros when it comes to wedding ^^ I can DIY so many things for my big day! The card has an illustration of our wedding rings and some special add ons. Don't ask, I won't reveal! NADA!

Ok, maybe some sneak peek =P

I chose turqoise color because it's contemporary and elegant.

Credits to Manda who wrote the copy for me and my printer for
sponsoring the cards and printing for me =)

I will update again regarding my gown fitting this Sunday. Before I sign off, here are some photos of me with the head pieces I bought for my ROM and wedding dinner.

How can I not buy a bling bling headpiece since my wedding theme
is all about blings!

I love this Roman flower head piece. Very romantic.

My sis love this fascinator. But I find it a bit extravagant O_o

Last but not least, another sneak peek of the wedding shoe courtesy of Sharon and Fuan Kee! I wanna thank everyone for their well wishes, help, kind gifts and sponsors. I feel so blessed to have these people in my life. People who share my happiness and make it like their own. I love you guys *hugs and kisses*

The Deception of a Woman in a Mask.

I'm a true and transparent person that doesn't like to hide my feelings. I chose to be expressive and be what I like to be. When I'm happy, I'm chirpy. When I've something in my head, I voice it out. When I'm bothered, I'll keep quiet but still will let it out in the end.

Sometimes people find me being too overwhelmed. But life is short, why camouflage your true feelings when you have a choice to be yourself. I rather die knowing I've lived my life expressing myself than dying with all my feelings plundered in my restless soul.

Holding on to the belief of being true to myself, hence I can't bare being around with sarcastic and contradicting people. People like these are so fake, they tell you one story here but once you look away they will tell you another different version. But unfortunately, there is exactly one person who fits this character perfectly revolves around my daily life.

Wearing a mask is the last thing I will do. If I like you, I'll make sure you know it. If you are not in my favorite list, I won't talk to you and won't even look you in the eyes. Having this pebble in my shoe has caused me to broke my belief. I forced myself to wear a mask to face this person every single miserable day. It feels so suffocating, dishonest and it has somehow changed how I live (in a bad way).

This person might think he/she is wise and capable for achieving what he/she has nowadays, but he/she doesn't even earn an ounce of my respect. Reputation is just merely what you think you are, but character is what defines you.

If only the world allows me to tell the truth which I always do, I only have 3 words for this particular person...
I DESPISE YOU.

Searching for a life worth living for.

Here I am staring blankly at this blank space, trying to find a word or two to describe how I feel. For the first few minutes, I really couldn't think of anything. Even when I started typing, I couldn't find the right words and kept pressing on the backspace tab. What has gotten into me?

Perhaps the lifeless and stressful environment had got the best of me. I no longer feel the passion, hope and the "what-a-wonderful-world" feeling every time I wake up in the morning. I feel dreadful, in denial and forced.

People says we work for money in regardless of whether we are happy or not. Money drives everything, even we don't like it.

Seriously, is that a way to live? We can never get back the things that we lost in time, not even with the money that you so called struggled to earn.

It is a life well lived with passion and happiness that is worth fighting for, not a life that is valued by money.

It has been a few months since I started to struggle with that thought. But I've already reached a point of no return. I am at a junction where decision is already made. I will head to the other direction. I am moving on.