Instagram!

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2014, of lost and sorrow.

2014 has not been a great year, there were a lot of ups and downs. I would say it's a year of learning to accept, to let go and most of all, to appreciate.

During the early stage of the year, I was diagnosed with a growth in my stomach. It was the lowest point of my life and it was the time I learned when you are pushed to desperation, you will try absolutely everything. It was the time I started praying for a hope, for an answer, for an assurance. I'm thankful that my prayers were answered and it was all under control now. It was then I truly understand the importance of health. You can buy a brand new car if it's spoiled. You can find another lover if you get dumped. But you can never ever find back your health if it's jeopardized. Please go for an annual check up, your body is your temple, treat it with respect and protect it like a gem. It comes far and beyond above everything and anything, because you only have 1 life.

Then it was the death of the woman who raised me besides my mom, my grandmother. I have so much regret for not spending enough time and not doing enough for her. When she was alive I filled myself with excuses of another time another day. But how long does the elderly has? You will never know. I learned that their time in this world is not guaranteed, spend more time with them even it's just a little while. The biggest weakness of mankind is not saying "I Love You" enough when they are still alive.

Health, family and then it was work. I had a wonderful career working with wonderful people in a wonderful company. Then slowly one by one, the people that I was closed with in the company left. Everything changed. I was naive enough to think that I could stay for a long time there. But people change, things change, left alone a management in a multi-national company. Good people go, bad people stays. It was the time I learned about trust, betrayal and the ugly side of the human heart. I was raised in a small town in Ipoh, I was told to live a simple life. The husband told me to build a wall to safe-guard myself. If people are to be cunning towards me, treat them the same way. But I refused. If I were to do that, what would be the difference between me and those bad people? I would rather stay true to myself than changing my principal. The world is chaotic enough with complicated and selfish people, I want to be the color in this grayish world. Even if it means being good to people and let them have their back turned towards me when things changed. These betrayal and all the politics I learned has thought me a great lesson: They are everything that I don't want to be.

There are ups for all the downs that happened, it all boils down to how you perceive it. Just like the way you see roses have thorns, or you can choose to see thorns have roses instead. Despite all the happenings, I'm thankful that my husband stay strong with me through it all. No matter it's climbing the highest mountain or crossing the deepest ocean, I know I can do it because my husband will always be there for me. This time, I learned that I actually possessed something that made me the richest woman in the world: True love.


I have changed so much this year, I find myself seeing things and reacting towards different scenarios in a whole different way.

Every year I will dedicate a song to sum up the year, and it has always been some happy tunes. But this year, I would like to dedicate a slower song to all the lives we lost this year. May they find a better place in another world. God loves you too much He decided to take you back to Him earlier. Do not think the lives we lost have ended, their lives on earth was just a beginning. I believe in after life. We lost lives, but heaven gain a lot of angels. For the living ones, it's time for us to move on. For the brand new year 2015, I will live life towards a better approach. To stay positive in all conditions. Nothing is impossible, it depends on the determination of our mind and the willingness of our heart.


You don't have to try so hard, be yourself, love yourself. Happy New Year, may all of you be blessed with the things that money can't buy: good health and happiness.